Grief and Loss Counselling
What is Grief?
Grief is defined as the response to a loss.
Grief is not limited to losing something or someone or something coming to an end entirely, grief may also occur due to a change or disruption in one’s life (Fiorini & Mullen).
Grief-Related Terms
Mourning is defined as “the behavioural manifestations of grief, which are influenced by social and cultural rituals, such as funerals, visitations, or other customs” (Zisook & Shear, 2009, p. 67)
Bereavement is the term used to refer to the state or process of having experienced a loss.
Disenfranchised grief is a type of loss that is not acknowledged in the same way as other types of loss by society at large, socially or publicly.
Who Might Seek Grief Counselling?
You may seek out grief counselling if you have experienced a loss in your own life or if you are supporting someone you know who has experienced a loss in their life.
You may seek out individual counselling, family counselling, couples counselling, or group therapy for grief and loss.
Types of Loss
Grief may involve the loss of, but is not limited to the following:
A loved one
A relationship
A pet
A job
Moving
Symptoms of Grief
An individual may experience the following grief symptoms:
Physical: change in appetite, sleep disturbances, loss of energy, somatic complaints, increase in illness and disease, etc.
Emotional: shock, disbelief, confusion, despair, fear, anxiety, guilt, shame, regret, anger, resentment, sadness, depression, loneliness, desertion, emptiness, numbness, helplessness, hopelessness, etc.
Cognitive: preoccupation with thoughts of the deceased, self-reproach, difficulty in concentration, etc.
Behavioural: crying, tiredness, nightmares/difficulty sleeping/sleep disorders, agitation, increased substance consumption (alcohol, drugs, medication), change in appetite, etc.
Social: withdrawal, changes in relationships, etc.
(Fiorini & Mullen, 2006; Machin, 2009)
Types of Grief
Acute grief occurs in the early or initial stages following a loss. It is a time characterized by intense emotions.
Integrated grief is where the reality of the loss has been acknowledged and the individual attempts to resume with their daily tasks. This does not mean that the individual has forgotten or does not miss or reminisce, but there is a lesser degree of preoccupation and disruption as compared to in acute grief.
Complicated grief also referred to as unresolved or traumatic grief, consists of prolonged and intense grief and is associated with significant impacts in functioning. This type of grief occurs in approximately 10% of people who experience grief.
(Zisook & Shear, 2009)
Grief Models
Bowlby’s Model
Numbing phase
Yearning phase
Disorganization and despair phase
Greater or lesser reorganization phase
Kubler-Ross Model
Stage one: denial
Stage two: anger
Stage three: bargaining
Stage four: depression
Stage five: acceptance
Stroebe and Schut’s Dual Process Model
Loss oriented
Restoration oriented
(Machin, 2009)
Although several grief models have attempted to understand the ways in which grief is experienced and processed, it is important to understand that grief is personal and variable in regards to the ways in which one experiences it (Fiorini & Mullen, 2006). Zisook & Shear (2009) suggested that there are various factors that may influence the intensity and duration of grief including: “the individual’s preexisting personality, attachment style, genetic makeup and unique vulnerabilities; age and health; spirituality and cultural identity; supports and resources; the number of losses; the nature of the relationship (e.g., interdependent vs. distant, loving vs. ambivalent); the relation (parent vs. child vs. spouse vs. sibling vs. friend, etc.); type of loss (sudden and unanticipated vs. gradual and anticipated, or natural causes vs. suicide, accident or homicide)” (p. 68).
Benefits of Grief Counselling
The ability to address, understand, and work through/process intense emotions
Learn how to cope with or navigate intense emotions more effectively
Move through the healing process and begin to look forward
Remembering or honouring a lost loved one or commemorating a loss
There is no right or wrong way to grieve, mourn, or heal but counselling can help you along this journey and through this difficult time.
References
Fiorini, J. J., & Mullen, J. A. (2006). Understanding grief and loss in children. Vistas: Compelling perspectives on counseling, 7, 31-34.
Machin, L. (2009). Working with loss and grief: A new model for practitioners. SAGE Publications Inc.
McCoyd, J. L M., & Walter, C. A. (2016). Grief and loss across the lifespan: A biopsychosocial perspective (2nd ed.). Springer Publishing Company, LLC.
McCoyd, J. L. M., Koller, J. M., & Walter, C. A. (2021). Grief and loss across the lifespan: A biopsychosocial perspective (3rd ed.). Springer Publishing Company, LLC.
Walsh, K. (2022). Grief and loss: Theories and skills for the helping professionals. (3rd ed.). Waveland Press, Inc.
Zisook, S., & Shear, K. (2009). Grief and bereavement: What psychiatrists need to know. World Psychiatry, 8(2), 67-74. https://doi.org/10.1002/j.2051-5545.2009.tb00217.x
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